The Procrastinator's dish

When I obtained this account, I joined the website with the idea of writing blogs every week in order to keep my grammar skills sharp. Let me start by saying that I have a deep, ethereal love of the English language. My favorite author is Jane Austen, my favorite book is Emma, and my favorite poem is the Jabberwock. If you think that people are crazy now, you should’ve seen the look on people’s faces when they read that poem. They’d be all, ” I dare say, this cheeky fellow must be on those bath salts that the men at the apothecary say are great for creativity.” 

Anyway,

When I joined this godforsaken website, I didn’t know that in order to get people to look at my blog, I would have to be friends with certain people, put dumb flash images of one direction on my wall, or post requests for “anons” questions. I don’t want to have a following; I want to have a legacy. I would like to be known for the depth and reality of my posts. I want people to see that I am quirky, fun loving, and the worlds biggest nerd. (AP lit and lang this year guys… I think I might cry tears of joy.) 

So if you think my blog is boring, unpopular, or silly, then I must say; good luck getting into college. They want someone who does extracurricular activities, and hitting the reblog button on a photo does not count as one. I wish you luck into the world of adulthood, and I hope all of the struggles you find yourself questioning having to face are brought on by yourself. Because in the real world, it doesn’t matter how many friends you have; what matters is how many brain cells you have. You’re never going to make a mark on the world by reblogging someone else’s creative find.

In closing, I would like to ask that you get up, go outside, smell the summer air as it is just ripening into fall, and get inspired. Read a book. Bake a cake. Conjure up a cure for cancer. Do something that will leave a mark. And I will take my own advice and do the same; I will follow my dreams. Will you?

Hey.

Guys, I’m like super sad. Because the man who I was going to be with forever dumped me! oh my god eh ma gawd oh em gee!

JK I DON’T CARE. 

Oh well, when they don’t matter, they’re not worth it.

Anyways; I am having a very boring summer so I just thought I would post some little tidbits of my summer so far, because I can and it entertains me :3

Tidbit Numero Uno:

I was at forever 21 the other day to get something to wear to my “big brother“‘s graduation. (ALL QUOTES WILL BE EXPLAINED AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POST.) Anyways, there was this bitch that beat me out for the lead role in a musical because she was taller than me, with all of her gorgeous sisters. We saw them trying on dresses and all the girls wanted the one sister to get the dress with sleeves and a turtleneck and was too tight on her. (really? it’s fucking june.) Anyway, as they flitted about the store, me and my dear friend alexia kept track of how many little hipster things they did. We turned it into a game. 

Results:

They earned 2 points for toting around starbucks whateverchinos. (good luck running off the weight you gain from that homegirls. 10,00 grams of sugar are floating around inside you right now, waiting to give you a stroke.)

They earned 2 points for all carrying cross body bags.

2 points for headphones blasting Iron and Wine.

3 points for picking something up and saying, “I don’t know, guys. These cutoffs don’t have enough patches on them.”

3 points for referring to each other as lovey doveys.

4 points for purchasing purple lipstick.

4 points for purchasing band tees; of bands that they don’t even listen to.

5 points for purchasing a mustache t shirt.

And finally, a bajillion points for saying, “Yeah I always wear high socks with my platforms.”

Tidbit 2:

My pageant’s in 2 weeks guys.

Tidbit 3:

I haven’t touched my eyebrows in 4 months. 

Tidbit 4:

I wanna go see the movie about strippers simply because I want to sing the song I’m in love with a stripper about Channing. my boy. ‘scuse me; man.

Tidbit 5:

I don’t think I’ve crossed anything off my summer bucket list yet. bummer.

QUOTATION EXPLAINED:

My big brother is actually alexia’s big brother but I’ve known him since I was 4 so he treats me like a little sister. aww.

KAY. COOL. BYE.

1. Larp.

2. Go jet skiing with meredith.

3. Surf without injuring myself…..

3. Go dumpster diving for collage materials. (I like making collages)

4. Put a bag of dog shit on the porch of the agent who claimed that I never sent her an email in order to get jobs. I sent 7.

5. Visit the cape fear museum

6. Turn my flab into abs.

7. Watch the sunrise.

8. Fix my relationship. I’m sick of being ignored by the person I love most.

9. Sit on the beach, at 8 am, before the tourists arrive and I can watch the surfers and the sunrise.

10. Stay up for 24 hours.

11. Try to learn how to play my computer.

12. Become a pageant queen.

13. Have hipster-y nails.

14. Play some sort of sport.

15. Take a trip that changes me.

Let me just talk to ya. 

I LOVE SPRING. 

And in order to spread the love, I have compiled a list of the most SPRINGTASTIC things. Enjoy, friends.

1. Candy Shop clutches! These little babies are so cute, and are made out of silicone, so they’ll hold up. Add fun colors and voila. Spring trend alert.

2. Nyx soft matte lip cream! I.t’s a creamy hybrid between lip gloss and lipstick, and at 5.99, it’s a steal

3. The Heat Wave collection @Forever 21(: A line that’s full of loose and cool fabrics, sunny colors, and cool cutouts designed specifically for the summer savvy. I’m loving the colorful twist on the HUGE trend of lace shorts.

4. Walmart Facials. Wait!!! Don’t go! They really do work! On a rainy day, I picked up an avocado clay masque to cleanse my pores, and a goji berry masque to replenish the moisture. These masks and scrubs come in an assortment of smells and types of remedies for your skin, so of course they work on all types of skin. Plus, at $1.75, they’ll fit into any budget.

THANKS DUDES AND DUDETTES.

hi guys. 

I have a dream…. I have a dream that one day, people will not yell at you for sitting in the seat behind you.

I have a dream that one day, I will stand up to that bitch who yelled at me for sitting in the seat behind her.

I have a dream, that one day, I will have my own apartment with exposed brick mixed  with a couple of antiquey chandeliers.

I have a dream, that one day, my best friend will dump the Colombian who makes her feel like crap. 

I have a dream, that one day, I will master liquid liner.

I have a dream, that one day, I will have lots of money to give to people.

I have a dream that one day I will lead something. (Not clarifying as to whether or not that would be an uprising, a protest, a country…. etc.) 

I have a dream that one day I will have more than 16 followers on my tumblr. (:

That is all.